Childhood's end
by LillianLuthor
Summary: Clark's impressions on the way things have changed since he was 15 [Clex]


Title: Childhood's end 

Fandom: Smallville

Pairing: Clark/Lex  
Rating: No idea; PG something or the other.   
Author: Lillian Luthor  
E-mail: isso_k@yahoo.com  
Feedback: sure, I'm a bitch for it... I'll even settle for flames if you have nothing good to say  
Archive: if you care enough to want it, you have it. just let me know, or whatever... 

Disclaimer: they're not mine, nothing this pretty has ever been mine... I'm just borrowing, in an amateur and unprofitable kind of way.

Childhood's End

IF one thing Clark Kent does not like, it is the first day of school after summer break. Not that he really likes school any other day of the year, mind you, but the first day always has that particularly depressing air of impending doom that makes him curse under his breath and kick things all the way to the bus stop. He almost killed a cow when he kicked a small rock a little too enthusiastically a while ago, after realizing he had lost the bus already and would have to run. Now, on top of all, he is all dusty! As if he wasn't pissed enough as it was...

When growing up, he had loved school; he could fairly well picture himself at eight, preparing his backpack to go back to school four days _before_ school actually started, and then double-checking everything to make sure he wasn't forgetting anything, every day, several times a day, until _the_ day. He could remember the excitement, the almost magical notion that great things would happen, that invaded him on the first day of school. To say that he felt differently about it now would be a huge understatement; he was just thankful that time also seemed to pass more quickly now that he was older –he never got around to asking his parents if that was normal, or just the alien thing.

The reason that he now hates school, emphasis in _hate_, is that he knows not many people like him there, and he is self-confident enough now to admit that he doesn't care much for them either. He can hardly believe he was fifteen only two years ago, and so blind and childish. It seems like a million years ago that he let himself be swallowed by the stupid high school dynamics, chased after the 'pretty girl', wanted to play sports, be _accepted_. It seems like a lifetime ago that he failed to be _cool enough_, chased the _wrong_ girl, and ended up as a scarecrow in the middle of Rilley's field.

By comparison, he is way cooler now that he doesn't even try to be, although Lex insists that it isn't the nonchalance that does the trick, but the fact that he has stopped wearing so much flannel. Honestly, he can't even pinpoint the exact moment when he decided to stop wearing the things mom bought for him, and started picking out his own clothes; it was probably around the same time he realized his parents, despite all their good intentions, are not always right and not always fair, and sometimes they too screw up big time. 

He still loves his parents, but for some reason they seem to be in a different frequency than him of late. Like on weekends, when he goes clubbing to Metropolis with Lex, and they _always_ complain that it is not like him, that he will neglect his obligations, and that he is too young to go out at night –god knows what things people do at night in Metropolis!. It doesn't matter that _everyone he knows_ goes out at night, and it certainly doesn't matter that most of the times he _does_ come home before noon. 

He's been listening to them condemning Lex, Metropolis and nightlife for so long that he barely listens enough to says 'yes, mom' and 'no, dad' in the right places. He _knows_ that he has been going out since he was fifteen, and he _knows_ most kids haven't, but he also knows he's not doing anything wrong; it's not like he's into drugs, or anything... which _some_ kids are, and he could very well mention a few if it would only make a difference. But it wouldn't. It would probably just reinforce their idea that they are right, and he is wrong.

And yes, he _is_ back in school, isn't he? Pretty disheveled, probably didn't bring close to enough stuff to do anything productive while here, but he _is_ here nonetheless. He will probably get all the best grades, too, because usually a quick read twenty minutes before the exams is more than enough to get him As all around. Even the advanced classes are too slow, and too easy, and absolutely incapable of keeping his attention focused on the teacher for longer than ten minutes. At best. He has tried to reason with dad that he would be more useful at the farm, but to no avail; he just insists that Clark needs his education. _Right_.

It is just as well that most teachers pretend not to notice when he is listening to his disc-man in the back of the classroom, or reading a book taken from Lex's extensive library, or letting his mind fly around making plans for the weekend; by the end of last year he found out most of them won't even say anything if he cuts class, all privilege of been the official town hero. It _does_ feel kind of dirty to abuse that, because it's not like he ever saves anyone expecting something back from them, but what can he do? He really hates school, and sometimes he feels like he's just too old to be there. 

He's just one breath away from turning back on his steps and leaving, maybe go to Lex's, when he spots Chloe waving at him from across the hall, from the Torch's office, where she and Pete sit sharing a soda. Pete doesn't look particularly joyous to be back in school either, which is understandable, unlike Chloe, who is beaming with excitement. He barely makes it into the office before she starts telling him of how Chad Mattews asked her out yesterday, _finally_, and how cool that is and how cool Chad is. 

Chad is a cocaine addicted twenty-four year old Chloe met about a month ago in Club Zero, friend of Lex's, definitely good looking and rather socially competent despite everything, unlike most of the other people in _Zero_. Chloe and him have been meeting there every Friday night for the last couple of weeks, making out like kids in some dark corner, and then emailing and phoning each other during the week; it always seemed obvious that they would go on a proper date some time soon.

Of course he congratulates her, acts surprised, although Pete's glance tells him he's not been convincing enough, and even accepts to go on a double date with them next week. They ask Pete to join them, make it a 'triple date', maybe set him up with some of Chad or Lex's friends, but Pete declines under false pretexts. Pete has fallen into the virginity-at-eighteen vicious cycle, which means he's a virgin, and is embarrassed of it, thus failing to do anything to remedy the situation. 

Another thing he deeply dislikes is that he has kind of grown apart from Pete and Chloe, and he doesn't even understand how or when it happened. They are still two of his best friends, and they still hang out all the time, whenever he's not with Lex, but there are times when it just seems they are just in different stages of their lives. Like for example, he can hardly remember what was it like before Lex; what was it like to want someone and not knowing what to do, to have an awkward first date, damn, to be a _virgin_. It all seems so far away, he can barely relate. 

He can go out with Chloe and Pete, and watch them dance like crazy, flirt with everyone, make out with strangers in the dance floor and be all exited about it later; still, he only enjoys it if he has Lex to lean back against, Lex's arms around his waist, Lex's sexy voice talking to his ear over the loud music, Lex kissing him tenderly and without a hurry in the world. It seems almost surreal to think of a time when he didn't have Lex, when he might have wanted _anything_ but Lex, when he might have thought Lex wanted anything but _him_. 

So it is no surprise that two minutes and a half before 9 his cell phone rings, and it's Lex. Chloe rolls her eyes, sends the 'slave-driver' her regards, and exits the room followed by Pete, who shakes his head in disbelief. It seems absurd that there was a time when people didn't know, when he would have had to hide to take the call; now he answers the phone as he walks to his locker. 

"I lied to your father" Lex's sensuous voice declares, before he can even say hello

"I'm intrigued, Lex" he chuckles, throwing his backpack inside the locker and determinedly ignoring the people passing him by in a hurry on their way to class "Care to elaborate?"

"I gave my word not to keep you from your school obligations, and I clearly didn't keep it" he explains with all seriousness, in Clark's favorite business voice

"Lex, you have been keeping me from my school obligations for the last two years" he grins, nodding to Miss Walker as she passes by on her way to class and gestures for him to hurry "I think he's in denial... just like mom keeps acting like I'm thirteen and we're _not_ having sex"

"Well, could I interest you in skipping first period and coming over for a little of the thing we're _definitely_ not doing?" Lex asks, the playful grin on his face evident in his voice "I'll pay the principal, buy the school, whatever it takes" he offers helpfully "I really have something I need to show you"

And what can he say? He has never been really good in saying no to Lex, not that he ever tried all that hard. So he just closes his locker and superspeeds away from school, hoping that Miss Walker really finds it in her heart not to give him detention, or too much of it. But detention would be clearly worth it even if he got it, he reckons as he arrives at the castle to find a very naked Lex sprawled on his bed, grinning smugly, his hand distractedly moving on his half-hard cock. 

"Do you see anything you like?" his boyfriend asks teasingly, letting the phone sensuously drop from his hand 

"It will have to do" he assures him, putting his cell phone in his jacket's pocket before superspeeding out of his own clothes.

There is no way he could possibly prefer school to this, and no way he can possibly even _remember_ school now. Not with miles of pale smooth skin spread out before him over bright red satin, not with a warm mouth kissing him tenderly as he crawls slowly over the offered body, certainly not with Lex's erection poking him on the hip, his own cock hard as he turns them over, the kiss becoming frantic very quickly. 

He will be eighteen in a couple of months, but it's just a formality if you ask him. He hasn't felt like a kid for what seems like forever, and he certainly doesn't feel like a kid now, with Lex's cock deep inside him, and Lex's perfect voice effusively proclaiming his feelings as he makes love to him. In a way, in this moment, he knows this is exactly what he wants for the rest of his life, and it's not a fantasy or a childish dream; it is a definite possibility. 

Later on, cuddling with Lex in the aftermath of orgasm –even though Lex insists men do _not_ cuddle, he idly wonders when was it that his life changed so much; when was it that his childhood ended. 

"Oh, by the way" Lex interrupts his musings, casually pulling from under the pillow a small tell-tale box "how do you feel about a little trip to San Francisco over spring break?"


End file.
